Blog: Self Development Coaching

October 26, 2018

"I don't know what to say". You may want to console a close family member, friend or neighbor when you see them soon after experiencing a significant loss but you may be at a loss for words. This is definitely not unusual acknowledging that we live in a culture that has limited time and tolerance for sadness and tears. 

"How are you?" commonly accompanies greetings between two people whether on the phone or in person. Don't you find the response is most frequently...

October 1, 2018

How often have you heard the popular adage "Time is a great healer" offered as words of consolation to individuals who are in grief after losing a close family member to death. Although there are many who do not totally agree rather saying that time helps to manage the pain, it does help to understand that grief is a process.

Grief is not a static event but rather is ever-changing, in reaction to a significant loss. The loss takes on new meaning with different rea...

August 23, 2018

Negative situations alter your life. As a social worker and self development coach, mindfulness and grief processing are prime methods that I use to help you cope through negative life altering situations. Acknowledge, Assess, Assist, the 3-A Coping Tool that I developed houses these methods. The intention is to empower you so you can self monitor with self awareness while being present to cope through adversity and loss.

When situations of adversity and loss stri...

July 22, 2018

Physically or mentally, caregiving can takes “its” toll. What is the "it" of Keeping "It" Together while caregiving an ailing, aging parent or chronically ill family member? Even if the physical job is not 24/7, the worries may be there around the clock. You may be worrying about a family member who lives alone, has limited mobility and resisting help. 

Caregiving is something you do not normally sign up for but rather "it" falls upon you, sometimes without w...

March 3, 2018

The life of caring for a family member with Alzheimer's or other serious condition can definitely be overwhelming and time consuming. Assess for yourself - is this your mantra, "I am so busy." "I don't have time"? Are you, as a caregiver also dealing with your health issues in addition to your family member's?  Are you caught in the sandwich generation? You may also be employed outside of the home adding to the tremendous weight involved in daily living. Do you f...

February 6, 2018

Dorothy, a girl from Kansas is declared to be a hero when her house made a shocking arrival in Munchkinland, landing on and killing the wicked witch. This is a scene from the movie, The Wizard of Oz. All the munchkins hid, until the Good Witch magically appeared and let them know they were safe to come out.

When you are faced with unpleasant challenges in your life, such as family illness, divorce or job loss, acknowledge if you get fearful and hide like the munch...

     Sheryl P. may not have had all the solutions but she was always there for her daughter trying to make things better. After spending years in and out of intensive care with her daughter, it took a long time for her to AcknowledgeAssessAssist to grasp the importance of self-care and move beyond the guilt.

Following is her account:

            At one time, I did not even know that taking care of me, and not always putting...

December 6, 2017

It is common for family caregivers to feel guilty. In her article The Guilty Caregiver, Leslie Vandever, a journalist by profession, shared her own guilt journey over 3 years while caring for her mother. Her account conveys how acknowledging, assessing, and assisting through the adversity and losses can shine a light towards resolve and relief from your guilt.

Leslie disclosed that historically from childhood she had not been really close to her mother, being more...

October 28, 2017

Today I watched the best dramatization portraying grief that I have ever seen and that is something for me, being a grief specialist of death and nondealth losses. I want to share it.

Allow me to set the set the stage for you. The five minute scene is from the series Grey's Anatomy Season 11 Episode 23 ( 22:11 - 26:30) that can be viewed on Netflix: Amelia, a brilliant surgeon and recovering addict is struggling with how to face the grief from her past losses and...

September 21, 2017

   Strength comes out of working through adversity and loss. To assist in empowering family caregivers, I emphasize loss and grief processing as a pivotal element for their strength-building regimen. Nobody has physically died so you may be asking yourself: why grief? It has been found that grief is a major barrier faced by those who are caring for family members with serious chronic illnesses. The grief gets buried, though, under care demands.

     Just as t...

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