Take one...Action; Take two...Action...Unless we are acting for film or television, we can not redo our actions. We can be satisfied, regret and ask forgiveness for our actions but we cannot take them back.
The fact that we can not take back our actions could serve as enough motivation for taking positive actions in our work, relationships and self-care. It is not that easy though when we indulge as diabetics in the sweets, when we spend countless hours on the computer rather than in the gym exercising, when we do not seek out help as exhausted caregivers of a chronically ill family member.
Is it possible that the expressions "We are our own worst enemy" or "We only have ourselves to blame" is true. There may be some truth; however I do not want to go there, for the sake of those of you who lack self-compassion. I do not want to contribute in giving you another reason to reprimand yourself as "bad" and persist in "self-blame."
Self-Compassion or lack thereof can influence the actions of self-care. For, those of us with low self-esteem who consider ourselves as not worthy, we are more likely to strike out before even going to bat, making any effort. The result is... "why even try"?
Whether acknowledged or not acknowledged, we send ourselve messages through self-talk that can influence our actions negatively or positively. When we lack self-compassion, our self-talk can be messages like "I can not do anything right", "I cannot do it", "I will fail", "I am bad", "it won't help". The more negative messages and the longer it goes on, there is a downward spiral effect that - you got it - does not lead to effective self-care.
Those of us who are self-compassionate will have an easier time at taking positive action that results in self-care because we hold ourselves in higher esteem. Unlike those who are lacking, we, as self-compassionate individuals acknowledge our self-worth, refrain from putting ourselves down and feel worthy. Our self- talk messages are more positive as self-compassionate individuals. "I am a good person", I can do it", I will try", "It will help". The more positive messages and the longer it goes on, there is an upward movement with high likelihood of positive outcomes in self-care.
We are not one extreme or the other. Self-compassion like so many other individual characteristics operates on a continuum and can depend on circumstances. Assess for yourself. Where on the continuum are you with self-compassion? Are you aware of the self-talk messages that you are telling yourself? Would more self-compassion assist you in getting out of a negative downward spiral?
Acknowledge, Assess, Assist yourself with Self-Care....
Change is possible.....Help is Here!
Join me in further self-care discussion in the Monthly Self-Care for Strength Group
in the northern suburb of Toronto, ON
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